Child Sexual Abuse VS It's Your Fault For Being Cheeky

Protect your babies. 

Have you ever experienced when someone wink at you or lick their lips when they see you when you were a child? Or someone touching you the wrong way? How about when it happens and everyone thinks it's your fault? It's not your fault at all, if you ask me.

This common behavior happens so often, that it sometimes pins victims as the main provoker to crimes committed by perverts. Yet it doesn't define the behaviors of pedophiles to the roots when it happens. For instance, when a child is asleep and someone creeps up to touch them wrongly in their private parts, or even perform sexual acts to them when no one is around. This is the abominable illness increasingly growing in this world that is not taken very seriously by people, to protect children.

Younger children are experiencing the trauma of being sexually abused and harassed at such young ages. I simply find it disgusting that pedophiles and those who are aware of these acts are the reasons why these behaviors continues to bombard our communities today. Children will always be vulnerable as long as they're unaware of gestures sick people are more prone to, especially when a child is not protected.

At a young age, I encountered the same repulsive acts out of people. There are children who grow up to contain the churning feelings. Those feelings eventually influences the present and everything in their surroundings from trust, security, marriage, and relationships.

As hideous as this neglected behavior disguises a person's life in the way to feel, think and live; it appeals to me that the efforts to eliminate these grime behaviors and child molestation still doesn't cease people from harassing and molesting children. Many cases of child molestation are especially affecting the category of younger girls in their homes and in trusted circles. Laws are enforced, but I believe that more untold damages are still occurring but still unknown over reasons of fear, or a child feeling ashamed to expose themselves where they could be portrayed in different labels, or because of  interfering practices that withholds advocates from helping.

I had a nice conversation with a young lady who was very successful and well-mannered. When the subject crossed us that day, she quickly tilted the bottle of Cabernet into her wine cup and waved her hand adding in to my clouding remarks. For years, when someone puts an arm around her in a slow dance, she would quickly move the hands of her dancing partner up to wrap around her neck. She has a tendency of keeping her distance from a person next to her, so their arm doesn't touch the side of her hip or side of her breasts. I couldn't comprehend why at the time, until later, that this was the aftermath from getting molested when touched privately by someone at a young age. She doesn't let it get to her much, but the mixed emotions still ruins some moments in her life.

One time, we were all asleep one night and it just so happens that a night creeper made it past our front door into our rooms. Our European home is more of an open house with knobs comfortably unlocked while we slept; safety and security was transparent in our family circle. But it was not until one night when I felt my blanket pulling from me all of a sudden. I didn't think much about my blanket, considering that my little sister always pulled a blanket or sheet from me when she gets cold at night. I screamed after feeling someone's hand on my chest.The mysterious night creeper ran off when I turned the light on. My whole family was alarmed by the incident, but it happened again a few days later. The creeper managed to quietly remove all of the the louvers on our window that night. We were awakened by the sound of a cracked louver, then the dogs barked. The night creeper fled from our house.

Several times in my childhood encounters; whenever I walked by a crowd, or see a man staring, there is always someone winking. It's crazy that even to this day, predators of inhumane behaviors still think winking is a groovy fashion statement for a pickup line. Literally, only a "moekolo" (night creeper) does that, if you ask me. The last time a man tried to touch me wrongly, I threw a rock to his head. I didn't care at the time if he was bleeding or not, but death was all I could wish for a person who looked, smiled, acted or portrayed any diabolic behavior of molestation. Although physical damage in throwing that rock brought defensive relief, it doesn't heal wounds of a decreased esteem about innocence and childhood feelings. And it just doesn't help much with knowing that in your own extended family, where one could feel more comforted and secured, there are some who makes you feel as if you've just drank a cup of water filled with broken glasses.

For most people I had met, they've learned to nurture a great disguise about themselves now, compared to the feelings of what they underwent in their young lives. They moved on, enabling the notion of healing by letting go of the past, with the comfort and support of families and friends. Unfortunately for others, it may take long to recuperate from the bottled feelings or not being able to salvage their stolen innocence. For a child who knows not much about these predicaments, they experience long-term behavioral, physical and emotional risks.Sometimes, they do not know how to comprehend the way they act or feel about themselves until years later.

The aftermath of child molestation and sexual abuse can cause more damage in the mind of a child. The results does not misconstrue anything nor eliminate the causal effect that can lead a person to commit suicide, or become diagnosed with other illnesses and phobias that damages their internal being, relationships with people and their future.

When I went back to school, my main passion was to pursue a Human Services degree to advocate and help young girls who were molested and sexually abused. I learned that the bigger percentage of these cases happens in homes, or in trusted circles around families and friends. And I found lobbying interest in that category to raise awareness to help younger children experiencing these inhumane acts, because not a lot of people have the tendency to voice or raise that concern to make a difference. There are two sides to a story, and the common label among societies today always depicts a young girl as being cheeky or labeled as someone who asked for what they got. For a child; there is no exception as to who is wrong, a child does not know much and they're helpless and should always be protected by adults, not sexually abused. I am disgusted that an adult does not get it in their head that a child is still considerably young whose organs and growth are still developing.

There are so many people who encountered being sexually abused at a young age, but have not admitted that it happened to them. But I found Lady Gaga's confessions more appealing in her recent song, Till It Happens To You. This song captures different perspectives and tells a story about the culture of shame and silence towards sexual abuse. It portrays a realm of being vulnerable and feelings that grows in time, to behaviors and the way a person will feel; at which, for someone who never experienced being sexually abused, would never understand or know anything about. These lines as she shared in solidarity:"Til it happens to you, you don't know how it feels, how it feels. Til it happens to you, you won't know, it won't be real. No, it won't be real, won't know how it feels."

If you were sexually abused at a young age, know that there is hope in the world for you. I hope and pray that you will conquer your fears and speak up about it. I hope that you will consistently remember that you are not at fault and it shouldn't ever hurt to be a child. Bring justice to your heart and talk to someone. Don't worry about people. They will always bicker and say that a vulnerable child was the provoker; but truly, they won't ever know until it happens to them. My prayers and solidarity for you. Hugs.